*POP* That’s the sound of me racing back to this blog, approaching the speed of light. I have kept the rabbits waiting. Terribly sorry for that. No more delays. Let’s get into it:
Prep-time: 6 minutes
Calories: Probably not more than a couple hundred.
Healthy (+): So much spinach
Healthy (-): Go easy on the cheese
Cost: about $5
Feeds: 1 woman in desperate need of dark green, leafy vegetables.
– one bag of spinach leaves
– one whole tomato
– half a cucumber
– half a red pepper
– Whatever is left in the bottom of the thousand island salad dressing bottle
– Shredded cheese
First of all, this salad was born out of the hasty need to put green things in my body. With the World Kendo Championships just around the corner, people from all over the globe are coming to visit our humble club which means these past and coming weeks are an orgy of fried food and beer. What, you didn’t know that kendo is half intense, screaming stick fighting and half getting roaring drunk and hoping sensei pays? The more you know. Obviously a stiff salad is needed.
I know this salad is healthy because I dumped an entire bag of spinach into it. I chose spinach because it was what was in the fridge, and also because on the scale of dark, green leafy vegetables, spinach is like, the darkest, greenest and leafiest of them all, or else cartoons have lied to me. It also tastes like ass, so I had to defuse it with other, yummier things, like tomatoes, cucumber, red peppers and croutons. The result was… meh. Probably because I didn’t have enough salad dressing, but also because I forgot to account for the water content in whole tomatoes. No, I don’t cut the middles out of my tomatoes because shut up. The cucumber and croutons gave this salad some much needed crunch, but the whole thing ended up as a soggy, bland mess regardless. But it was healthy!
How I Made It
1) Dump an entire package of spinach into a spare Tupperware because your Perfect Salad Bowl (TM) has gone missing.
2) Cut a half a cucumber carefully in hand. Add to bowl.
3) Make a mental note to wash the cutting board along with the rest of the dishes after dinner.
4) Repeat step two with a tomato and red pepper.
5) Shake out the dregs of salad dressing from the bottle.
6) Realize that your salad looks pitifully unappetizing and add croutons and cheese.
7) Add more cheese, because cheese.
9) Forget to wash the dishes.
How You’re Supposed to Make It